happy 1-11-11!!!

this classic was always one that we watched and talked about at our house growing up. thanks dad!

"i was under this belief system that you have to have a lover in order to have love in your life. and i realized that i'm the love of my life. that was my biggest lesson."

~~~jenny mccarthy about her breakup with jim carrey 2010

and i couldn't agree more with what i've learned over the past 3 years. no one completes you. only you complete you. and when you're personally at that point, then you'll be ready.

xo

just for "the girls club"...

LAUGH WITH US AT THIS great memory...
...and we're all still going strong! ps. note to self. go back to blonde and go back to having a tan ;)

"it is said that one should not linger at a crossroads for the spirits that surround them are ones that are restless and turbulent. decide and move on as fast as you can for it can only cause trouble to linger..."

~~~lark rise to candelford

Remind Me---How Many Attempts Do I Get???

i woke up late and was already exhausted saturday morning but i needed to go up skiing. it had been far too long. i was also hoping that once i got up to the top of the mtn, that the "crap" we had been breathing for the past week would have cleared out but unfortunately...no. i could see the sun trying to come out but the clouds would quickly take over.
we headed over to wilberre for our first run and i did ok. i was tired, the snow was a bit icy, and i was not trusting the ski enough. i was trying to rely too much on my hips to make my turns. "big mistake. big"! let's just say that it was definitely a learning day and that i had another first. my first double endo wreck. man. it was painful. i even got the "concussion check" question to make sure that i was ok.
i will say that it is frustrating when my brain tells certain muscles to move and they don't because they are already exhausted. that kept happening and making my mental game not one. the ski even popped out of the binding. that NEVER happens because the ski is set at a 20 which is a pretty high setting. anyway, it was brutal and it was picture worthy.
and yes. back to the basics i had to go. back to "what i learned in kindergarten" and back to the simple lessons of skiing. that's got to be my thinking next time cause like i've always said "it's all mental...it's all mental!" but still way pissed at myself and yes. i can be too hard on myself so i had to just relax to get that mental crap out of my head. grrrrrr......
on the cat track after my "avalanche". notice the hair, helmet off, and goggles a mess. yeah ;)

i make sure that i write down the days that i have like this that can be so bad. so bad, that all i can do is laugh out loud. the day only got better after the skiing. i had to return a whole boat load of christmas purchases to walmart that i had made for the kids. i do that every year. i over buy just in case the presents are not "equal" and then i become the queen of returns.
anyway, so to walmart i went, not realizing how tired that i really was. mid transaction, the power goes off. yeah. i just assumed that a generator would kick in but nope. instead they had to hurry and get everyone out of the store. yeah. of walmart of all places.
i laughed all of the way out to the car. opened the car door, reached up to my grab bar, lifted my body up, and into my car...but the "into" part did not happen. i went back down to my chair and i got ready for attempt #2. again the same results. attempt #3. again the same results. at this point i had realized how tired and "jello" that my arms really were and i'm beginning to freak out in my head. the problem was that when i'm supposed to swivel my butt in the car, those muscles were shot from my using them while skiing. i looked around wondering how many people had just seen my three pathetic attempts. i thought that i was all good and that everyone was more worried about where to go and shop. right then i made eye contact with this cute high school boy. he began to walk my way.
"oh shiz" i whisper to myself.
i'm dying.
"can i help you at all?" he said.
i smile noticing the stench that is coming from my body.
"yes. do you mind? when i lift up, can you just push my butt over so that it won't slip off of the seat?"
yes. i had just asked this random boy to push on my butt. and yes. i've lost all pride at this point.
"yeah. that's easy." he said.
so he did as i had asked and in the car i was.
i'm dead now of both embarrassment and exhaustion.
and off went the cute high school boy as i mutter excuses why i had needed his help.
i took my chair apart and got it put in the passenger side of the car.
i shut the door only to realize that i was huffing and puffing.
this is when i know that i've hit rock bottom when it comes to my fatigue.
wow.
WOW.
this is also when that i wish that i had a camera man that just followed me around. filming a day in the life of living in a wheelchair. for both the knowledge and for the comedy.
but more for the comedy.

really. i don't and can't make this shiz up!?! i just happens to me when i least expect it and at the most random times. i know. it's pure comedy. lol right.....
;)

Our First Day of 2011...

ok but notice where it is that i am not. yeah. not outside. i sat my ace in the front seat of the truck and took pictures the entire time. i was not about to go outside and just sit there and freeze. a few years ago? yes. and even got down the hill? maybe. but this year not so much. i don't need to try to show what i can or can not do anymore. if those who i care about have not seen it yet then oh well. they lose. hehehe but i will admit that it was a perfect way to start out they year. 2011 bring it on!!!