To Feel Or Not To Feel. That Is The Question....

As some of you know, I am a huge, HUGE fan of Mentholatum. It is the cure all of EVERYTHING! Menth and I become so attached at the hip after all of the scars I have attained over the past few years. I found that by rubbing it on the scars, helped them to get back to their regular color and smoothness. It's my Mentho miracle!

Now, I can't forget my other cure cream, though it's one that I don't really like too much. It only gets my love and attention after 1, or 2, or 3, or 4, or fine, 5 idiotic mistakes! There is only one word for this mistake. BURN......

Burn #1 Heating pad 7/03 left leg calf
Burn #2 Hairdryer 8/06 right leg above knee ***circle skin graft
Burn #3 Hairdryer 8/06 right leg above knee and beside burn #2 ***train-track line
Burn #4 Four-Wheeler 5/07 right heel
Burn #5 Casserole Dish 3/10 right heel above knee and below burn #2 and overlapping #3

Just to give you an idea of what it is my poor right leg looks like, here's one sweet pic that will end your curiosity.......and let me tell you. It. Is. Yuuuuummy. Fo. Sho.

So how did I manage to do this once again??? Grrrr....that damn real cooking I don't do! One of the few times that I try to be Martha, Betty, or Ann, I get a burn to help me remember it by. Seriously. I pulled the casserole dish out of the microwave and was mid push to the table and my chair stopped inches away from my reach to the table to put the dish down so what did I do? For literally .2 seconds I put it down on my lap (it was sooooo not hot so i thought) pushed and picked it right back up to put it down on the table. No worries or no big deal...so we thought?!?

It was not until I was getting ready for bed and taking off my jeans when I saw the burn and the blisters bubbling up! I went into freak out mode because there was nothing I could do to fix it and I had no idea how deep the burn was underneath? Burn #1, #2, and #3 had all needed skin grafts and I knew I would die if I had to go through that ordeal again! Grrrrrrrr.....!!!

First call I made the next morning was up to my old friends at the University Hospital Burn Unit to see when I could have them take a look at how bad it was. Not until Saturday morning so I had to have a little flashback and remember how I should dress it until my trip up. That's when I dug deep and pulled out the Sulfadiazine cream, the gauze, and the wrap and off I went dressing away.

Saturday morning I had my apt up at the hospital and like I had hoped, it was not too deep of a burn. It only needs dressing changes twice a day which is no big deal but still. Such a re tard move!?!

I met up with my sister to finish up some wedding dress odds and ends and we were talking about, she was lecturing me about my idiotic moves.

"Seriously cooking? Really? You and the stupid cooking. Why do you need to cook?!? LOL!"

"I know. I know. I don't get it or even think about it cause I don't think it's hot enough to burn me! I mean. When you can't feel it, you don't realize it's even hot or that it can burn you!" I shrugged my shoulders and ended with a, "Well. All I can say is it happened and I can't take it back. Like I said, it's hard to judge when you don't feel it. At least I can say that. It's a good thing that I don't feel this because it would hurt like hell! I can't imagine the pain nor would I want to!"

Jenny looked at me like I had just said the dumbest thing ever.

"Is it though??? Is it really good that you can't feel it??? Cause I'm pretty sure that these incidents would not EVEN be happening if you could feel it!!!"

TOUCHE.....

Come on. I have to hold on to the last shred of positivity if I'm going to learn once again and laugh a million times again about the lessons in heat, paralyzed skin, the burn, the blisters, and the dressings!

So the question still stands.

To feel or not to feel. That is the question?

But funny story. After burns #2 and #3, since they were so similar in time, they actually sent in a psychiatrist to talk with me. Huh?!?

"Do you have feelings of depression? Do you feel about committing suicide? Do you enjoy hurting yourself for the thrill of pain? Are you seeking attention?"

All valid questions but not so valid for me. Not depressed. Not planning suicide...yet...lol. Not seeking attention, in fact this burn I did not even tell my parents because I dread their attention with things like this. Last but not least. To hurt yourself, to cut yourself for the thrill of pain, you usually have to be able TO FEEL WHERE IT IS THAT YOU ARE HURTING!!! Not so much with me. I can't feel it remember?!?

Anyway. It actually turned out to be a great weekend and it was sunny so Yiiippppeee!!!


ps-xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo a million times to my kids! i missed them and had way too much time on my hands :( and yes. i know. i am such a nimrod. when will i learn?!?