I'm Honestly So Confused...?

do you ever feel like you are losing your mind? making up circumstances or phone conversations in your head? not able to recall what you did the day before?

yeah? well me too! seriously.

i swear that we have so much going on and i can't keep it straight! she needs this and he needs that. i called and settled this and you need to handle that. i have piles heaping everywhere in my house. notices. invites. homework. bills. statements. races. artwork. projects. the list goes on.

i told a friend the other day that i wish that everyone could leave for a week so i could get things organized again. it never stops!

today i got a phone call that a medical procedure that i had done in october was denied by my insurance.

"no. it's covered. i called before my appointment to get a prior auth and they told me it would be covered" i said.

i distinctly remember the phone call with ??? yeah. exactly. with who??? i swear inside and out, up and down that i remember the conversation that i had. i remember being relieved that it was going to be covered but who was it with? was it this company or this one?

i'm so confused and even now, as i am writing this post, i know DANG WELL that this phone call happened. i did not dream this or make this up! and yet i can't remember the proof! i'll find it but now i have to dig and that takes time. time that i don't have! blah....

on a happier note, the sky is blue and the sun is shining, half of the laundry loads are done, half of the rooms are clean, kindra happily did her reading, and i'm going to yoga tonight. it could be worse. much worse.

my mum came down today. i love when she does but i also hate it. she can read my face like no other and she knows when i'm stressed. i start venting to her and the words just keep coming. i find myself getting even more frustrated. i try to keep my business, my business and i don't want my family getting involved. it never helps.

"all i can tell you is to concentrate on the positive. focus on whats good and what makes you smile. i don't know what else to tell you except that", she said.

so here i stand. yes stand as i write in my standing frame. it feels so good! i can see the blue sky and the sun melting the snow...and it makes me smile.

standing and smiling. at least i know i can handle this!

standing and smiling. concentrating on the positive.