my carter counseling...

the older that my 4th grader gets, the more i realize and understand that he is 10yrs old and is actually IN the 4th grade. i am in utter shock and disbelief. how did this happen?
we have played the game of trying to figure out which meds best suit him and have done so on a low dosage. i have heard too many horror stories and have tried to go the more "natural" route. how can i more properly put it than to just plainly say "it's not working" so today i had an apt with his counselor. usually he comes with me so that they can get his current weight and ask him questions about how he's doing but this morning i went by myself. i did not want him to hear me referring to him or his actions in a negative way.
i basically just had a barf session about my frustrations, my fatigue, my understandings, my confusions, my desires, and my plea for direction on "where" to go from here. of course it was not just a negative meeting but it was one that i needed to have alone.
i left feeling much better. his doctor is great! i couldn't wait to see him after school just to give him a hug, feeling like it would be a new start in the journey.
and you know? it was.
carter LOVES to have a "job" that gives him some direction. he works at it more determined that anyone else that i know and ALWAYS singing with a smile on his face, one that's addicting to all that sees it! i love it! i love to see his mind excited and at work like that. i love to see when he feels accomplished, no matter how big or small his job is!
so that night he brought up all of the halloween boxes and started helping me put everything away. he just kept going and going and finally i had to tell him it was time for bed!

"mom? are you so proud of me?"

"uh?!? totally! and FOREVER i will be bubby. always. no matter what!"