"The" Song of the Week...

T.I. & Rihanna's duet that they performed on the music awards..."Live Your Life"....It is so good!
I LOVE music like this for when I am working out. It gets me riiiight in the mood!


OK....fine....I LOVE music like this ALL of the time :)

Find Joy In The Journey...NOW!

On my 4.5 hr journey home the other day after my race, I was thinking back over the past year. There have been a number of things that I have been proud of being able to do. Things that I never possibly thought that I would do. Someone on the outside, looking in, would think that I should feel accomplished and on top of things. That I should feel content with what life has dealt for me to endure.

I don't. I'm tired and lately have been feeling emotionally drained and exhausted.

"Why" I thought. "Why am I always thinking...what next...what else can I do to feel like I'm finally there. Why am I never happy with what I've done or with what I am doing. Who am I trying to please? Why do I feel like if I do this....or when I do this....or when this happens then I will finally feel pleased. As a Mom, I should be doing this. When the kids get older then this will happen. And most times, they are issues that can not, will not be changed so Why do I fake tease myself?"

Please don't get me wrong. I am so, so lucky. It could be so much worse. I feel so blessed to have "done" certain things or to "have" certain things in my life but I can feel like I could be, should be doing more. Or if I'm like this...then this will or won't happen. Let's be honest. There are times that I feel overwhelmed with being responsible for having to do it all. I'm not complaining...really I'm not, but I do have to DO IT ALL. I'm a single parent of 2 kids who are extremely full of energy (wonder where they got that from) and I'm financially responsible for everything that we do plus I'm trying to be independently selfish so that I'm a happy person because let's face it...when I'm happy, we're all happy. PHEEEEWWW!!!

I just for some unknown reason don't have enough faith in myself or in some of my choices. I don't give myself enough credit. Why? That's yet to be determined but I just feel like I'm being pulled in every direction possible. Is this also my own fault? Probably...but like I said...when I'm happy, we're all happy.

Then I heard something on Sunday that I felt like was specifically for me....

"Change. Nothing is as constant as change. Some we like. Some we don't. Change is monumental. We go from where we were, to where we are now. The longer that we live, the greater our realization is that it is brief. Opportunities come and then they are gone. The greatest lessons that we learn, are lessons that help us to distinguish between what is important, and what is not. Do not let those opportunities pass you by. Do not wait until "that day". Find joy in the journey...NOW! You pile up enough tomorrows and you'll find that you've collected alot of empty yesterdays. Do something TODAY. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today...of the here and now. It will disappear all too soon. Stresses in our lives will come regardless but we must deal with them the best we can and should not let them get in the way of what is most important...those around us. William Shakespeare wrote "They do not love that do not show their love". We will never regret the kind words spoken but we will regret not showing those who mean the most to us, how much we love them. Give your child a hug. Set goals. Write a history. Say I love you. It's easy to take those for granted until they are gone and we are left with feelings of what if and if only. Find joy in the journey and share our love with friends and with family. One day, each of us will run out of tomorrows. "Do human beings ever realize life, while they live it, every, every minute?" It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend. Will we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but be grateful for what is present...love, health, family, friends, work, and personal pursuits that brings us happiness. "Whatever our God has blessed you with, take it with grateful hand nor postpone your joys from year to year so that in whatever place you've been, you may say that you have lived happily". May we be found among those who give thanks. Despite the changes and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days as much as we can with those things which matter most.

This is the cliff note version of what was said but you can understand why it was exactly what I needed to hear. It's easy to take the easy road but it will never bring me true happiness. I need to find a bit more faith in myself, slow down, think for a moment, and then do the things which matter the most. Find joy in the journey...NOW. Worry about the things that I can do something about. Love the here and now, every day, one day at a time. Love my family and friends and take gratitude in what we endure together. Do the simple things which make me happy. Simply put! They may or may not be the easiest decisions or choices, but in the end, they will be so worth it!

Thanks....I needed that!

...and it goes right along with my "new" favorite song...T.I. & Rihanna's duet "Live Your Life" hehehe :)

The Best $49 I Ever Spent...

Once upon a time, I had an iPod nano but it was a gift that I did not take full advantage of. OK. Fine. It was something that I had no clue how to use so because I am so true to my word and said that I would, I gave it to a friend who could actually take full advantage of it. grrrr...I can be too nice sometimes??!!??
Needless to say, I knew that I would die of boredom during the marathon if I did not have my important music to keep me on track. (That is why I can never do any type of exercise for a long period of time...BOREDOM. I don't know what that says about me but it is what it is) So on Friday morning, I went out and made the best $49 purchase of my life...a cute little iPod shuffle. I made a phone call to Thomas, who would be meeting me down in St. George, to bring up her lap-top since I knew that she would have the best and the most up-to-date music possible for me, (her), to download. hehehe...and boy was I right!!!
I got down to St.George, checked in, got my number, and met Thomas close to 8 pm. The plan was to head over to her friend Becka's house, visit for awhile, and go to bed...EARLY...since I had to be up at 4:30 am for the race.
Um. Yeah. Not so much. We had way to much fun talking, laughing, and Thomas HOOOOKING my iPod up with the best mix possible. Before we knew it, it was 12:30 am. I know that I was in denial because I hate waking up early and I'm so NOT a morning person. I got dressed in my race attire so that I could literally wake up, go to the bathroom, put on my shoes, and be out the door. I was so excited to listen to my tunes that I could not wait...notice the red and tired eyes? But I will say that I had the best 4 hrs of sleep that I've had in a LONG time!?! hehehe
Thomas was so excited to be my "play by play" picture taker which I was all too happy to have :) !!!

The nervousness is quickly setting in....it's dark, early, and..... ...it's F'ing RAINING!!!
I was so not prepared for it to be cold and raining! I did not have a rain jacket to keep dry or have gloves to keep my hands warm and able to properly grip. Yep! Freaking out at this point...

Thomas is one of my BFF'S! She was such the trooper and was totally there to help and to support me. She was not prepared either but that did not stop her from being right there with me...in the pouring rain!
They had some garbage bags for those who wanted to use them to try to keep dry so you know I of course grabbed one!

Fearful and Focusing...getting all pumped up with my tunes..

I laughed when I saw this picture because I am sticking out like a sore thumb. I had no clue what I was really doing or of what to expect. Look at the rest of the guys who are all prepared...gloves, glasses, jackets, clothing, etc. etc.!!!

They had their desired finish times all set and all that I was worried about was actually finishing the race. I had heard stories about the 3 main hills on the course and it had me really nervous. Plus, since it was still so dark, as the race began, you could not see squat which made me a little more cautious.
26+ miles, 2 hrs 26 min later, right behind the "regular" male race winner, I came in to the finish line! It was such an experience! One that is impossible to describe with words. I fought to hold back my emotions as I went past loud cheers of encouragement and praise...the whole entire race! It is the greatest feeling EVER to know that you've made it and that you've done it. Once again...there was Thomas and Becka right there to support me and to cheer me on!

I'm DONE!!!

This is Niel Harding of Bountiful who won the male division and YES...this is me who WON THE FEMALE DIVISION! In fact, not to brag, but I am the first female to EVER compete in the hand-cycle division in the St. George marathon. I did not even know that when I signed on but an accomplishment like that just adds to how proud of myself I am! I am also so happy with my finish time. The hills were tough but not as hard as I thought that they would be so that only helped my time. The key was to not look clear up ahead and see how steep the hill was. If I just looked a bit ahead of my front tire, it did not feel as tough. You would think that 2 hrs would have felt like a long time but it was not that bad at all. I will attribute that to my iPod which kept me going hard core! Thomas...you are the best and all because of the music, I was not "A D D musically challenged"! hehehe :)

...did I mention that I was completely soaked and was freezing to death! There were times during the race that I could not see because the rain was coming down so hard. Then my front wheel would just add more water to my all ready soaked face because it would kick it back on to my body :( boo hoo hoo I KNOW!

...yes...looking like a drowned rat!
Thomas giving me crap about how disgustingly dirty that my car is...
I met Tara down there who also ran the race. She was also happy with her time though the weather was a huge factor to those not being able to beat their last years time. Rain, wind, and being cold honestly sucks! She too was completely soaked and freezing to death!!!

The Awards Ceremony...For winning I received a travel bag, a plaque, a huge chocolate bar, a ring (like a graduation ring) which I had them inscribe on the inside--- "hotwheels" to keep the "name tradition" alive, and the best of all...a $250 travel certificate from Morris-Murdock Travel!!! I can hardly wait to start planning our next trip! :)
I liked how on the medals that they just stated that you were a "finisher". That way they gave everyone the same one, not making anyone feel better or worse. The point is that you did it and that you accomplished such a huge goal!

You need to go and check out this link that is a news article about the race which I think is pretty cool. Come on...it's always fun to see your name in the paper especially when you are quoted!

http://www.thespectrum.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081005/SPORTS/81005020

Once again, another great weekend because of what I was able to accomplish. As I was on my way home, with alot of time to think, I realized how thankful I am for these opportunities. Back in the day, even a year ago, I would have never imagined myself doing/accomplishing these types of challenges. It has helped me to grow in ways that I never would have imagined and I feel so lucky! I heard something yesterday that I would have to agree with. Even though I know the concept, it helps to hear it every once in a while. "Trials, hardships, bumps in the road are necessary so that we can recognize the challenges that we can overcome. This will lead to a personal growth that we need, to be able to reach our full capability. It will allow us to grow in ways that we never would have imagined. One day we'll look back and realize what it all had been for and for how thankful we are of it to have happened." I totally agree! It can be miserable while we are enduring it but afterwards, we can see the blessings that we've received and the lessons that we were able to learn.

Shout out to those who helped me to realize that once again, I could still do it! Thank you for supporting me 100%. You have never let me give up or to give in! Thomas...thanks a million times for being there with me this weekend! It meant so much and our "good and funny times" absolutely MADE the weekend! YOU R THE BEST! Thanks Becka for letting me crash at your place!

I can hardly wait to see where the next one will be but let's just hope that the weather will be SUNNY!!! :)

I'm Starting To Panic...

I did hills this morning. That's when the panic began. I laughed to myself when I realized just how slow that I was actually going. I think that you could have been walking faster. Seriously!

It's safe to say that I'm starting to freak out. What am I going to do if I can't do it? What am I going to do if my muscles suddenly decide that they're done? What if...what if?

I head down tomorrow to compete/participate in the St. George Marathon and I'm scared. I have no idea what to expect. I know what to "kind of" expect but not "all of the way" expect. I could be just fine. I could be causing myself stress for no reason but I DON'T KNOW?!? Oh yeah...and what if the hand-cycle busts up? Oh my hell...what have I gotten myself into???

OK...I will calm down a bit so that I can really say what I meant to with this post.

As I was in the middle of my ascension. As I was in the middle of my mental game, I thought back to my college athlete days. How thankful I am for the valuable lessons that I learned. To always be positive (except with a certain Soccer coach...Tiff...you know what I speak of). To always jog off the court. To always want to win. To never complain about the politics (fine...to sometimes never complain). To endure to the end...no matter what that end may be. To always have fun and to always laugh. To always live up to my nickname...The Sexy Grandma (I was a few years older than most of my teammates and come on...I was sexy!!!)

I never would have thought that I would be doing what I am going to be doing this weekend! I guess that you never really know what you will have to go through to get you prepared for your future unknown adventures. I can look back and now be so thankful!

It's not a secret that the past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride. It's allowed me though to have one of my ever so needed self checks. To realize a few things and to see the bigger picture.

Thanks for all of the positive words. It helps to hear it and it helps to keep me on track!
Really... Thanks!

Don't worry. I will keep you right up to speed on how the weekend turns out. Katie Thomas is coming up from Vegas and is going to ride the whole 26 miles with me on her bike. I can hardly wait! It's going to be hilarious!

Just pray for me that I don't get a flat tire cause I will be utterly screwed!!! Oh boy...the panic is starting to set in again....

Breath in ... Breath out ... Breath in ... Breath out!!!

The Question-

Kindra came in my room just now with a very serious look on her face...

"Mom? When the clock struck 12 and everything turned back to how it was before the spell, then how come the slipper didn't turn too?"

Hmmmmm. I sat for a minute. Thought about the question and of just how smart my little "rin kin kin" is. "How in the heck did she come up with that one and why don't I have an answer for her?"

I told her to let me think about it. I had no idea. Can anyone help me out with this one?

"I'll get back with you in the morning", I said.

My Signature Look...

...er at least "these days" signature look.
I was over at mackink.blogspot.com and she brought up the question of if we have found our own signature looks yet so I did some searching.
Since I'm in my "relationship remission", I have found comfort in my t-vo and all of joys that my television shows bring...and that would also include my college football obsession. I was so surprised when I found this...The Exclusive Pink Collegiate Collection!
Victoria's Secret has teamed up with 33 schools to create an exclusive collection of college gear. I am so excited since these t's are my very favorite to sleep in! Not to mention how freakin cute they are! Oh yeah! Aaaaaand they are cheap! (If it was something that I'd have someone to impress...I'd also add that they are hooot & sexy!)
So go to VictoriasSecret.com and check'em out. You'll love them!
So I will also ask the question..."Have YOU found your signature look?"