Find Joy In The Journey...NOW!

On my 4.5 hr journey home the other day after my race, I was thinking back over the past year. There have been a number of things that I have been proud of being able to do. Things that I never possibly thought that I would do. Someone on the outside, looking in, would think that I should feel accomplished and on top of things. That I should feel content with what life has dealt for me to endure.

I don't. I'm tired and lately have been feeling emotionally drained and exhausted.

"Why" I thought. "Why am I always thinking...what next...what else can I do to feel like I'm finally there. Why am I never happy with what I've done or with what I am doing. Who am I trying to please? Why do I feel like if I do this....or when I do this....or when this happens then I will finally feel pleased. As a Mom, I should be doing this. When the kids get older then this will happen. And most times, they are issues that can not, will not be changed so Why do I fake tease myself?"

Please don't get me wrong. I am so, so lucky. It could be so much worse. I feel so blessed to have "done" certain things or to "have" certain things in my life but I can feel like I could be, should be doing more. Or if I'm like this...then this will or won't happen. Let's be honest. There are times that I feel overwhelmed with being responsible for having to do it all. I'm not complaining...really I'm not, but I do have to DO IT ALL. I'm a single parent of 2 kids who are extremely full of energy (wonder where they got that from) and I'm financially responsible for everything that we do plus I'm trying to be independently selfish so that I'm a happy person because let's face it...when I'm happy, we're all happy. PHEEEEWWW!!!

I just for some unknown reason don't have enough faith in myself or in some of my choices. I don't give myself enough credit. Why? That's yet to be determined but I just feel like I'm being pulled in every direction possible. Is this also my own fault? Probably...but like I said...when I'm happy, we're all happy.

Then I heard something on Sunday that I felt like was specifically for me....

"Change. Nothing is as constant as change. Some we like. Some we don't. Change is monumental. We go from where we were, to where we are now. The longer that we live, the greater our realization is that it is brief. Opportunities come and then they are gone. The greatest lessons that we learn, are lessons that help us to distinguish between what is important, and what is not. Do not let those opportunities pass you by. Do not wait until "that day". Find joy in the journey...NOW! You pile up enough tomorrows and you'll find that you've collected alot of empty yesterdays. Do something TODAY. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today...of the here and now. It will disappear all too soon. Stresses in our lives will come regardless but we must deal with them the best we can and should not let them get in the way of what is most important...those around us. William Shakespeare wrote "They do not love that do not show their love". We will never regret the kind words spoken but we will regret not showing those who mean the most to us, how much we love them. Give your child a hug. Set goals. Write a history. Say I love you. It's easy to take those for granted until they are gone and we are left with feelings of what if and if only. Find joy in the journey and share our love with friends and with family. One day, each of us will run out of tomorrows. "Do human beings ever realize life, while they live it, every, every minute?" It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend. Will we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but be grateful for what is present...love, health, family, friends, work, and personal pursuits that brings us happiness. "Whatever our God has blessed you with, take it with grateful hand nor postpone your joys from year to year so that in whatever place you've been, you may say that you have lived happily". May we be found among those who give thanks. Despite the changes and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days as much as we can with those things which matter most.

This is the cliff note version of what was said but you can understand why it was exactly what I needed to hear. It's easy to take the easy road but it will never bring me true happiness. I need to find a bit more faith in myself, slow down, think for a moment, and then do the things which matter the most. Find joy in the journey...NOW. Worry about the things that I can do something about. Love the here and now, every day, one day at a time. Love my family and friends and take gratitude in what we endure together. Do the simple things which make me happy. Simply put! They may or may not be the easiest decisions or choices, but in the end, they will be so worth it!

Thanks....I needed that!

...and it goes right along with my "new" favorite song...T.I. & Rihanna's duet "Live Your Life" hehehe :)