I'm Starting To Panic...

I did hills this morning. That's when the panic began. I laughed to myself when I realized just how slow that I was actually going. I think that you could have been walking faster. Seriously!

It's safe to say that I'm starting to freak out. What am I going to do if I can't do it? What am I going to do if my muscles suddenly decide that they're done? What if...what if?

I head down tomorrow to compete/participate in the St. George Marathon and I'm scared. I have no idea what to expect. I know what to "kind of" expect but not "all of the way" expect. I could be just fine. I could be causing myself stress for no reason but I DON'T KNOW?!? Oh yeah...and what if the hand-cycle busts up? Oh my hell...what have I gotten myself into???

OK...I will calm down a bit so that I can really say what I meant to with this post.

As I was in the middle of my ascension. As I was in the middle of my mental game, I thought back to my college athlete days. How thankful I am for the valuable lessons that I learned. To always be positive (except with a certain Soccer coach...Tiff...you know what I speak of). To always jog off the court. To always want to win. To never complain about the politics (fine...to sometimes never complain). To endure to the end...no matter what that end may be. To always have fun and to always laugh. To always live up to my nickname...The Sexy Grandma (I was a few years older than most of my teammates and come on...I was sexy!!!)

I never would have thought that I would be doing what I am going to be doing this weekend! I guess that you never really know what you will have to go through to get you prepared for your future unknown adventures. I can look back and now be so thankful!

It's not a secret that the past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride. It's allowed me though to have one of my ever so needed self checks. To realize a few things and to see the bigger picture.

Thanks for all of the positive words. It helps to hear it and it helps to keep me on track!
Really... Thanks!

Don't worry. I will keep you right up to speed on how the weekend turns out. Katie Thomas is coming up from Vegas and is going to ride the whole 26 miles with me on her bike. I can hardly wait! It's going to be hilarious!

Just pray for me that I don't get a flat tire cause I will be utterly screwed!!! Oh boy...the panic is starting to set in again....

Breath in ... Breath out ... Breath in ... Breath out!!!