"It's OK to cry when you are talking about something that's important to you or when you are expressing your emotions. That just means that you have very strong and tender feelings."
That is something that I use to hear all of the time when I was growing up. Though I was very strong willed and dominate, I was also "a cry er" when I became nervous. (or I'd just laugh)
This week is Kindra's turn to be "Student Star of the Week". We had fun putting her poster together and rehearsing what she would say as she pointed to a certain object. She knew what to say but was getting a little nervous and was relieved that I would be right there with her.
As we got all situated in her classroom and the students came in, she got a little teary eyed.
"Oh Mom. I don't want to do this. I don't know what to say."
"Yes you do Kindra and you will do great!"
As she began to talk, her words were mumbled, quick, and soft. Then she started to cry-talk. I reached for her hand and held on tight to let her know that I was there. I helped her along until she was back to using her normal and strong voice. We went back to the beginning so that she could talk about those objects again but this time giving her classmates the ability to hear what it was that she was saying. It was a great activity for her and it ended up just fine, especially when it came time to handing out the treats!
As I drove home, I reflected on what had just happened. Why was she doing the exact same thing that I had done as a child? What am I doing or not doing that is creating this fear or this insecurity? I couldn't come up with an exact reason but it did cause me to think...a lot. It's scary in fact. Even when I am trying to NOT do something to make something else NOT happen, it does! It's frustrating! It also reinforced the fact that sometimes, no matter what we do, our kids have their own inner personality's that will just end up doing exactly what they want to do. (I AM IN GRAVE DANGER!!!)
GRRRRRRR!!! So hard when all that we want to do is protect them.
Nature vs Nurture or Nurture vs Nature??? I swear. Who really knows anymore?!?
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6 comments:
We don't know, do we? They come here hard-wired but part of that make-up is a little you, a little Trevor, and a big part all Kindra. I see in my kids things about myself I wish were different, but I am amazed at how unique their combination is.
And please, being like her mom? Lucky girl.
Well she does see our family cry all the time when we get up for public speaking...think back to JC's wedding- you and lyssa both went into tear/talking mode. It was so beautiful! But maybe Kindra, who is very observing, saw that and thinks that's what you do when you get up and talk in front of people. HMMMMMMM just a thought from Dr. Jenny
Well I can relate all to well. I am a people person you know I can be silly or have fun talk to strangers but put me in front of a group of people and I freeze! I am sorry to say that she might not ever grow out of it. But look on the bright side- she is a mini you and that isn't a bad thing. You are a strong, wonderful, fun loving person:) with many talents.
So all is well all is well:)
p.s. I am sorry I forgot to send you and invite did you get it yet? I hope so, if not email me again k
If she is anything like you, I would say that she is one LUCKY little girl!!
oh i bet kindra so was cute even through the teary voice! good job being there for her and letting her work it out and calm down- she's such a sweetheart! i'm jealous you have your trainer all set up and going inside your heated garage! good job!!
Awwww.. what a sweetheart. I love though that you were there to hold her hand and be there for her. You are a great mom!
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