Can anyone HELP me FIND my BRAIN?!?

I will be the first to admit when I have.a problem and I have a very big problem. With my brain and its getting worse! Now this could just be the result of being a parent and talking to kids all day ... oh, but wait, I don't! I talk, or at least try to talk, with adults all day and when I am with my kids I still try to talk to them like they are min-adults

Obviously I am doing something right when it comes to my "career". I am not the boss or anything but to be honest, I am ok with that because that takes the accountability off of me and allows me to have other things in my life and to be a mom. This "brain" problem does not arise all of the time but today it became more apparent.

I was talking with a client today who was telling me about his brother who has MS and it is beginning to affect his mental capacity. His brother said as hard as having this disease was, the part that made it the hardest was the fear and the realization that he was losing his mind.

As I was driving back to the office it made me think about my own mind and what it used to be. I always had the best memory, knew where I had placed everything so that I could find it later, could articulate every word into proper sentences, could remember conversations that I had had with people/clients etc etc .

It was still bothering me when I got back to the office and so I went to "bitch" with Jeff for a little while. As our conversation continued, I busted out a "He doen't speak good" and immediately out came the words from Jeff lips "well not good"...oops...there came out another one. "I know", I said. " I am having a hard time getting the correct words out of my brain to my lips. It sounds proper and correct in my brain but when its time to come out verbally, they get all messed up. Like somethings not connecting".

It actually makes me very sad because I am not an unintelligent person and I know exactly what to say and do when it comes to the "marketing and advertising lingo". The thought of people looking at me like I am some stupid chick who just comes from American Fork High School.....boo hoo!

I have a hard time communicating when I get all worked up and things just never come out the correct way! I am just frustrated but I am also in agreeance with the man who is fearful of truly losing his mind. I realized that is my biggest fear also because the thought of not being a capable mother to my kids and especially to not be able to be there with Carter with the special needs that he has.

Oh, I will also apologize for all of the times that I have said "anyways" because there is no "s" on the end...it is just simply "anyway". All I ask is for you to all bear with me and to understand this kind of problem that I have and realize that I am not a great author like the rest of your blogs that I read are! I can also state for the record "DAMN THE BRAIN INJURY"!

Again, let me say that I know that it could be worse and that the grass is not always greener on the other side but its nice to sometimes think so! Didn't mean to have this become the downer blog but its just been on my mind today and so I just needed to vent a little.....

When I got home I was so happy to see that my trees are finally changing colors and they look gorgeous. I still can't believe that in 5 days it will be November. This year has flown by and I hope that I have not missed out too much on my family events :) ANYWAY, have a great night, great sleep, and for those of you who are married, think of us poor single people who are not getting any and feel just a little bad for us, ok! :(