Last Thursday, Kindra brought a packet home from school which also included a note of instructions...."Please have the student make a doll of what they think that they look like. Have it include some of their favorite things and list what they would like to accomplish this year in Kindergarten."
...so I took the "have the STUDENT make" part literal and went to work having Kindra create her doll to look exactly the way that SHE wanted it to. My thoughts were this...SHE needs to learn how to do this. SHE needs to expand her creativity. SHE needs to feel like this is HER accomplishment. I helped her to write her goals but SHE did the work.
So on Friday when I went to drop her off to class (we were a bit late so I actually took her in) these are the "other dolls" that we saw....
...immediately Kindra said "Oh no! My doll doesn't have hair and my doll doesn't have a dress! Mom????" To be honest, I was a little dumbfounded myself! What had I let her done? What a horrible, uncreative Mother I am to have let her actually DO HER project HERSELF!!! I could not believe that I had been so stupid! I can't let my daughter feel like she is the boring one! I began to panic for a quick moment, becoming overwhelmed once again with all of these "new" things that I have been learning. I never had to worry about these types of things with Carter. He could care less!
"Oh don't worry Kindra! We'll fix it this weekend and you'll love it!" was what I said without thinking! So this is what we came up with. Yes, I helped her jazz it up a bit but I still let her do EVERYTHING that she wanted to do with it. (notice....the chin...the glasses...the skin...the horse...the shoes...the fingers...hehehe!)
How funny is this picture! We had to show how much they looked alike and look at Kindra's fingers :)
The reason for this post is to point out that this really bugs me! I think that we put way too much pressure on our kids and on ourselves! They would still be happy with alot less work! I swear that we have our kids doing things just to please ourselves. I even did it myself! Like I was going to let my daughter be the uncreative and boring one. And look...Kindra was insecure about the other dolls that had been made by parents not by the kids in her class so it was a "fake issue"!!! Why are we doing that to them??? So I ask the question...Do we let our child be an individual and let the insecurities be possibly created or do we do the work ourselves and stay in the "safety zone"?
I had no idea that it could be so complicated but I think that for me and my 2 minions, I'll put on my life vest and test out the "insecure" waters!!! Honestly...
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10 comments:
Oh. You must have missed the memo that once your kids are going to school, you are as well. Good luck with all future projects!
I hate that. Autymm is now in first grade and we experienced the same things in the big K. Good luck with that. I thought that I was an overselious (can't spell) mother who needed to have a hand in everything my child was doing. But when I went to Kindergarden it raised my self esteem just a little to know that their are moms out their with nothing better to do than to "build their childs self-esteem" (if thats what they want to call it. I am with you Katie let the kids be the creative ones and as parents sit back and cheer them on.
Oh I alomost forgot me and Monica were neighbors for 4 years or so. She is a good friend of mine.
Staying in the safety zone is just that, safe. Letting our kids explore and find out what sets them apart is one thing that helps them become strong individuals. How many times did we feel we needed to follow the "pack" (literally the pack of our age) because we thought that we needed to be in the "group." Oh, if only we could go back and not be a follower but a leader. You are doing awesome. Kindergarten is only the beginning. :)
ok- this is a tough one for me. Riggin is only in preschool but I have the hardest time just letting him do it, I want it to be perfect because I;m so worried about what everyone else will think. . . I know I shouldn't be and I should just let him do it and I try, really I try but in the end I always have to add a little help so as not to be embarrassed (me not him, he could care less)- bad I know- I seriously always act like I don't give a sh*/=t what everyone things, but dang it I really do-grrr. and people can be so mean- I hate it.... good luck
Oh boy!!! I completely understand what you are saying. What a hard thing though...do you help them and so theres isnt the "boring one?" I dont know the answers...but i probably woudl have done just what you did. Either way though- i LOVED her doll!! So nice job Kyndra!!!
I was going to post something similar to this, probably will in the next few days! This is so very well said. We had to do the samt thing in kindergarten. I let Colt do his own doll and when I went to school it looked like it was a contest between parents they were all so "BLING BLING" then there was ours! So when Gage went I helped him out. But it should be about the kids and letting them explore who they are so we can see the world through there eyes!
PS. Love her doll!
My kids are free to be themselves as long as they do it perfectly.
Kidding.
I am totally guilty of this. I can't resist fixing the spelling errors and the "Just let me do this one part so the glue really works". It's hard to be a perfectionist mother to kids because perfection is not what they need the most, despite how badly I want to give it to them.
Good for you. Great example.
Yeah for us Mom's who let the kids be creative. I just like to think of it that way instead of me being lazy...and by the way, YEAH...Mandee Gillen is one of my BFF'S.
this is even the case in british schools! can you imagine?
the projects i've sent my girlies to school with...{gasp!} their own work? with only their mum monitoring the glue gun?
i think it makes everyone feel bad...except those who you really wouldn't want to even be near a playdate with your babes, you know?
you're doing the right thing. xoxo.
You bring up such good points! I'm glad I have you to help me get ready for when my kids go to school, because I would have done the same thing. The only problem I have is I could have done the entire doll, but it still would have looked like my 2 year old did it!
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