My Interesting Wedding Thoughts?!?

Within our family, starting with Bethany's wedding, there will be a wedding in August, September, October, November, December, & January. They've all reached their own "fairy tale" as Bethany likes to put it.

It was hard for me to believe that Bethany was getting married when I'd heard the announcement. She is still "little Bethany" in my mind.

This is a picture of Melissa (her sister) and I at the shower that they did for her. It reminded us of just how old that we really are! We are 11 years older than Bethany :(

Melissa and I were "best cousins" growing up. That was my favorite part about when we'd come back to Utah for the summers while we lived in Toronto...getting to have numerous adventures and sleepovers with Melissa. We'd trade clothes, books, makeup, and anything else that we could think of.
The first real vacation that I can remember was one that I took with my Grandma S. and my aunt Emily up to Oregon to visit the Browns. I remember throwing GI Joe parachute guys off of their landing and of sleeping in their upstairs toy room. I admitted it years later but that was also the trip that I'd killed their pet goldfish because I'd fed it too much...hehehe :) oops!

Our Mom's are sisters so we did alot together as we grew up before our families both moved away. I even remember the day that we did these pictures. We went to the University mall and did them. See the clip in my hair? I had lost it just before but my Mom did a massive search of the car and luckily found it in time :) Katie and Melissa...we were the 2 little flower girls at all of the family weddings...

Bethany looked absolutely gorgeous!! Now it's Kay (Melissa's) and Samantha (Alissa's) turn to be the 2 little flower girls...
Our lives have all gone in different directions so it was so fun to see everyone. As often as we say that we'll get together, it's so hard to actually do it.
L to R - Claire (Adam B), Alissa (Nathan B), Lauren B, me, and Melissa B (Tom M)

Now this is where it gets a little too honest and negative so I'll apologize before hand...

I'll be real. I shed some selfish tears during the ceremony. Not tears of joy for Bethany (though I am so excited and happy for her) but tears of sadness for me. At one point I remember looking up at that same ceiling, smiling, and thinking "Maybe soon?!?" I was in a relationship that I felt I knew was right and that I thought would be the one. So the other day, my thoughts went back to that. Now whether the relationship should have worked out or not, the question "why" and the confusion still comes to mind. In my mind it all made sense for it to last and did not make sense for it to be over. Even though I now know that it all worked out the way it should have, the sadness is still there because I still lost and miss a best-friend. As in control I am with certain aspects of my life, I still get lonely. I'm not in control when it comes to that side of life. Call me pathetic for admitting this. For admitting that I'm not so tough all the time but come on...I'm allowed to feel sorry for myself every now and then especially when the questions why and when are so apparent in my mind!

So basically I was feeling a little sorry for myself. I went out and did the picture thing and then made it over to The Gateway. After finding a few smile worthy items at Anthropologie, made it back to ??? ?????? ????? ???????? (I am not saying so as to not ruin it's name) for the wedding luncheon. Once I found out that the only way to get to the room was through an elevator that was hidden in the back kitchen, I was starting to become annoyed again. I sat down at my place, put down my purse, and requested the directions to the restroom. "Oh...the restroom? Well you have to go outside in the heat and clear around the building to the other side." (I wish that I was kidding) I put on a smile and made my trek over to the restroom. It gets even better. I went into the restroom and did not see the "handicap" stall. I wanted to start crying not to mention the heat and stress sweat that was forming on my forehead. I found someone and asked them what the deal was?!? "Down the hall a bit further in a special stall room". Whatever...a special stall??? I opened the door, threw up in my mouth, and knew that something was not right. I looked at the toilet and when I saw what was there, looked up into the sky and that morning asked another "why?". I was either going to cry or to laugh so I threw out a fuuuuu and just started to laugh as I began to clean since it was the only toilet for me to use :( As disgusting as it was, I had to take a picture because I knew that my family would never believe me when I told them!

Quoting my friend Alice, this is a comment that has all ready become known as a classic but that will now have a greater meaning "I'm serious! I can't make this shit up!"

I dealt with it. Had a good laugh with the rest of the group that was at my table and got suggestions on what to put in the letter that I should write. I'll keep you posted on that one...

Later that night, I made it over to the reception which turned out gorgeous but I'm not surprised! The Brown's can't do anything but gorgeous and perfect! Here is a picture of Alissa, me, and Melissa. Alissa married Melissa's brother-my cuz Nathan and they live in Arkansas so it was great to see them!

Overall, a day full of alot of different emotions that were both good and bad but a great family get together as usual.

Congratulations again to Jake and Bethany!

And I learned that it's time I came to terms with the whole wedding situation since the next one will be for one of my BFS's and then the next for one of my BFB's :( Actually don't remind me. I'm beginning to have a panic attack because when I think about it, I realize I'm not quite there yet!!!! Oh Sh@*.... Crying...Tears...Here we go again!!! :(